So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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