i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
