i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize