I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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