So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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