Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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