ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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