i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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