Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
