I don't get it.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
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Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
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I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol