I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
