After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
