I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
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