Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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