I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
