Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
