I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
