I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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