you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
