I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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