I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
