He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
