He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
