You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just found puke in my bra..
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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