I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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