it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Drake has all the answers
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
