Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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