He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
