from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Houston, we have a squirter
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
