well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
