she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
