New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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