My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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