yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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