My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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