Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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