I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
