I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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