Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
