I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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