My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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