I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
