had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
