OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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