im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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