home. puking in laundry basket.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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