My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
