I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Soap is not a condiment
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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