hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
