ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
