He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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