my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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