take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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