She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
