My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
