He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
