3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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