Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
