I feel like abortions should bother me more
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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