Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
