they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
