I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
