Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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