I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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