I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
